FREE: All About Steve

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A hunky TV news cameraman named Steve (Bradley Cooper) gets stalked by a lonely crossword puzzle creator named Mary (Sandra Bullock) in the comedy All About Steve. Although only one screenwriter is credited, All About Steve feels like it's been clumsily patched together from a dozen different versions of itself. The story makes no sense and there's very little that resembles recognizable human behavior...and yet, for that very reason, the movie exerts a perverse fascination. Some parts are actually funny--Thomas Haden Church (Sideways), as a reporter hungry for an anchor position, unleashes arias of manipulative babble--but most of the movie is just baffling. The filmmakers seem to think they're sending a heartwarming message about embracing yourself, no matter how out of the mainstream you may be. Unfortunately, all of the "quirky" people come across as brain-damaged because they're not really people, they're emblems of "uniqueness." Mary is meant to be endearingly eccentric, yet her social ineptness verges on schizophrenia or severe autism. At every turn, All About Steve unintentionally reminds the viewer that someone wrote this, that someone thought this bit of behavior or this turn of phrase would somehow make us like this character or find them charming. Unfortunately, that someone was very, very off the mark. The result--seeing the bald intentions under the failed result--is a jarring yet oddly compelling experience.